Ok so last week I became the mom of a teenager....

tomorrow....








.....my baby will be three years old.

**sigh**

Lord please help me to slow down and enjoy them while they are young. Thank you so much for allowing me to be their mommy.

Teenage Eve

Well, today is teenage eve at our house.

Meaning tomorrow morning our first born will wake up as a teenager.

*sigh*

This is turning out to be the hardest milestone for this mama's heart, yet. With many more to come, I am sure.

But there is a funny note to add.

I did the math and this will be the beginning of 17 years of being a parent to a teenager. Something to look forward too right?!?!

How great is our God!!!

The last few weeks have been very trying. In addition to Vivian's breathing issues, Tim has had a neck problem that for the last week has been causing numbness in his arms, dizziness and nausea. The dr thinks that his brain stem is being pinched by his vertebrae. We don't have traditional health insurance, so anything that we spend up until our (high) deductible is out of pocket. That has been causing stress for Tim and I have been very anxious for the past week wondering and waiting to find out what is wrong with my husband.

I want to share something AWESOME that God has done.

I was opening our mail (that has been in a pile for a few days) and I found a card addressed to Mr and Mrs Brown with this note inside....

Tim and Audrey,

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any troubles with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 2 Cor 1:3-4

A little gift from God

In the card was $300 in cash.

I picked up the phone to call Tim. He answered and immediately got a call and put me on hold. When he came back, I quickly told him about the note. He was silent on the other end for a min and then said, "The call that I got was the dr's office telling me that the ct scan is scheduled for tomorrow and it will cost $300."

Sing with me.... How Great is Our God!!!!!

It's AMAZING....

What a little sleep will do.

I have had a couple nights of (Niquil induced) good sleep and I feel like a different person! Vivian has slept in her bed the last two nights (fairly quietly) and she has sleep pretty well.

We went for a 2nd opinion yesterday and the ENT took one look at hers (and Leah's) tonsils and said they have extremely large tonsils that aren't that way due to sickness, they are just genetically large. So he recommends having them out. The thing is that we do have to wait for Vivian to turn three or else she would have to be admitted to the hospital. So I am planning for 12/28, the Monday after Christmas. I think she will be fine until then as long as she doesn't get sick.

So there is an end in sight!!

Trials, they are a plenty

Well, let's just say we are in a "season of trials."

We went to the ENT and they said it will be about 6 weeks before they determine if Vivian's tonsils will come out, after allergy testing and medication. So...... 6 more weeks of making sure that she is breathing at night and making sure that she doesn't get sick and make her condition worse.

In addition to.....

-Leah who continues to not sleep well at night. By that I mean she gets up 5-6 night a week, resulting in a very sleepy and cranky girl every day at about 5pm. We have found out now that she too has obstructive sleep apnea and may need her tonsils out.

-Major issues on the business side of life. With very little notice, a major account lost due to no fault of our own, at the worst possible time of the year and this blow was provided by "friends" of ours.

- The main waterline to our house was run over and broken. Thankfully Tim was able to fix that pretty quickly.

-Week number two of sickness for me. Complete with ZERO voice which has been fun with 4 kids. Add this on top of my thyroid being off and you have a mama that can barely function.

Through all of this and more, I am being constantly reminded of the song that I sang at church after our son Jacob died. I have even arranged to sing it tomorrow at church. But I will most likely have to postpone, since I have no voice. Tell me that satan is not just working overtime on us. But I will cling to this song and others as I walk through these things that God has ordained for me. Pretty or Ugly, Fun or Not, God has ordained this path and I will walk through it. And try to learn everything that I can from Him while I am walking.

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley If You want me to

Cause when I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna scream, I'm gonna shout

I'm gonna look into your eyes and say, "You never let me down, so take me on the pathway that leads me home to you, and I will walk through the valley, If you want me to. "

by: Ginny Owens

The blessings of friends

Thank you to my sweet friends....

One who talked me through my nervous breakdown today when I just about couldn't take it anymore and graciously lent me an awesome space heater that is currently heating my whole upstairs since our heater exploded this morning and is now out of commission.

One who is coming over tomorrow to take care of Miss Mercy tomorrow so that Mercy wont have to stay in her crate all day while I am gone to a school field trip with Mackenzie. I am also thankful for her hubby, Jerimy, who is our chiropractor and is helping us take care of our sick little one.

One who, on a moment's notice, is watching my two youngest kiddos for the field trip despite the fact that it's her bday tomorrow, she has a cold, she has an art class at her home in the morning and her in-laws are in town for a visit. Oh and did I mention the fact that she is going into this knowing that Vivian will probably be a bear since she is so tired? And she is feeding them lunch so that I don't have to pack their lunches?

And last, but certainly not least, my hubalicious who is the most amazing friend ever. He has slept on the couch for the last two weeks so that I can sleep with Vivian and listen to her breath all night. He has listened to me cry with worry over my baby. And above all else, he has continued to encourage me to trust God with all that is going on in our lives. No matter how hard it gets, I can always count on Tim to be right beside me through it all.

Prayers for Vivian

I wanted to ask you guys to be praying for Vivian. I took her to the pediatric pulmonologist yesterday and she doesn't have asthma. That is a huge praise! She does have reflux and they also suspect that she has obstructive sleep apnea. The dr said that her airway is blocked by her enlarged tonsils (partly due to reflux) so when she sleeps, she has trouble breathing. That may be causing her to have seizures. We are going to do a sleep study at Children's and some more xrays to find out what is going on and how to treat it. She also seems to have developed allergies so she is congested and that seems to worsen the situation. Over the last two weeks the episodes have gotten much more frequent and Tim and I have gotten pretty good at recognizing when it's going to happen and we can help her. Unfortunately, the breathing treatments and the steroids aren't helping very much since it's an obstruction, so we just have to watch her until the sleep center has an appt for us. The dr told me to sleep sitting up with her, which is not an easy thing to do. She's also very tired and cranky during the day since she's not able to sleep well at night.

Overall, we are very thankful that she doesn't have asthma. The dr said that if she is having seizures, they most likely aren't neurologically driven. They are probably only happening because of the obstruction. So another huge praise there. We are going to have a rough few weeks but hopefully we will get some answers and a plan after the sleep study.

Thank you so much for your prayers