Reflection

I met a mom yesterday who also has four kids. We talked and she watched for 2 hours while I entertained and tended to the girls while Tim was working with a used car deal. Her kids range in age from 25-18. Her oldest is married with a child, 2nd is getting married next spring, 3rd is in college and 4th is going off to college in the fall. She was just beaming with love as she told me all about them. She is a christian and she and her husband raised their children to love the Lord. It was a very encouraging time for me as a mom. She talked about how their house used to feel crowded and now it feels empty. She talked about how her time used to be filled with little ones and activities, and now she's trying to find opportunities to be needed by them. Her desk was filled with pictures of the kids and her grandchild. She told me how her and her husband still don't go on vacations alone because it's boring. So they always find one of their kids or more to go with them. She talked about how she remembers the struggles but the quiet outweighs those memories now. She really could relate to the tiredness in my eyes, but encouraged me to really slow down and enjoy all that we are doing in the lives of our children.

When I got home last night, after the business of bath and bedtimes, I sat down at the computer. I began to look at videos of the girls. I had a good cry as I watched my babies grow through the years. I realized that there is a chunk of time that I truly don't remember. It was around the time that Vivian was born until she was about a year old. I have pictures and video of that time that help jog my memory but I think I was just in a hormonal haze. 4 babies in a row will do crazy things to your body and mind. It was probably the hardest time on record for our family. We started a business, tried to expand it and got involved in a really bad business deal, had all our our equipment stolen off of a jobsite, had a baby, had extreme supply issues with nursing her, were trying to homeschool, had two in diapers (for a month there, it was three!) were unhappy at our church and I lost my entire group of close friends due to something that I had absolutely no control over. It was a deep, deep valley in our life. I am so thankful that God gave me the piece of mind to document that time through pictures and video. I am able to look back those and see that throughout all of those terrible things that were happening, God was blessing our lives.

God's word promises trials for believers. They are for our good and His Glory. They test us, produce fruit in us, provide strength for us, perfect us, and above all show us God's love for us.

James 1:2-5

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

This is the verse for today on Bible Gateway. “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.”- Matthew 16:25

So as I reflect on the advice of a seasoned mom who has walked this road before me, I am once more humbled by God's love for me. He loves us enough to entrust these wonderful gifts to Tim and I. And He is walking through those peaks and the valleys with us.